


Transformation

by emokid6969



Series: Sad/Beloved [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Disability, Love, Magical cures, Other, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:15:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28433025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emokid6969/pseuds/emokid6969
Summary: The Wolfsbane potion has a price, but Remus pays, for Sirius.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Sad/Beloved [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2082594
Kudos: 10





	Transformation

Sirius has a scar right above their heart from Moony's first night in the Shack. Sometimes, Moony is defiant: "I know that wasn't really me, and I wanna just kill the asshole who did this"; sometimes, Moony is repentant: "Sirius..." and a long silence, because Moony doesn't want to press the imposition of asking for forgiveness. And Sirius runs their fingers through Moony's hair and scatters kisses across Moony's face and says, "One of these nights, we'll figure out how to get the wolf to suck my dick," and Moony flushes and laughs, rolls their eyes, and Sirius relaxes with a smug smile.

The Whomping Willow knows their secrets, Sirius supposes: knows Moony's nervous shaking and Sirius's hands carefully pressed to Moony's palms and the many, many nights of Remus's terrified, unrecognizing screams.

There's a hill that overlooks the Shack, and Sirius spots a shadow behind a tree with a distinctly Snape-like hunch, casts a vapor spell on the window so it fogs because there aren't any curtains left after years. The moon rises, and Moony's convulsions start, always with the crack of shifting bones and then a fervent pleading for death that Sirius hates, Sirius _hates_ it.

Three weeks later, Dumbledore asks them to the front office -- Wormtail's gone off somewhere, and James is still wooing Lily, so it's just Sirius and Moony, sore from the second night of a week of full-moon.

"I have, for you, a possible solution to some of your ills," says Dumbledore, slow and stern. "It will not prevent the transformation, I am sorry, Remus."

Moony sits very, very still for a moment. "What does it do, then?"

Dumbledore smiles and strokes Fawkes' beak with a single long finger. "I am told that it can provide you with a clarity of mind, the ability to remember what has transpired. You can stay yourself, even while your outer self transforms." Dumbledore's smile becomes grave. "Young Remus. The pains that have beset you will not be faded, and by keeping your mind, you will remember the transformations. I cannot say what is best for you."

"I would save my friends, though, right?" said Moony, eyes sad and somehow hopeful, luminescent. "No more scars for Sirius."

"That is the hope," says Dumbledore. "But it continues to be your choice, Remus."

Remus picks up the bottle, takes Sirius's hand. "I'm taking it."

Dumbledore nods gravely as Moony and Sirius twist down the griffin-staircase.

Tight in Sirius's arms, Moony is shaking. Sirius squeezes Moony tighter, to reassure them. Moony presses theirself in, tucks their head under Sirius's chin, presses their face to Sirius's heart.

"I don't want you to go," Moony says, muffled, and Sirius twines their fingers through Moony's hair, uses a firm grip to pull Moony's head a little bit away and turn Moony's face up to where Sirius can see them. "I'm not going anywhere," Sirius says. "Not anywhere you're not going, anyway. I'm with you, forever." The staircase lands, and they stumble out into the corridor, wrapped around each other, the potion in Moony's scarred, pale hands. It's two hours to moonrise. Time for dinner, and soft, durable sweaters, and meeting James and Wormtail by the library. And the potion, glowing, quietly waiting in Moony's pockets for the right moment.


End file.
